Recently I read a book titled Relationship Goals by Pastor Michael Todd. And needless to say I was ignited. What a book! I recommend this book to anyone…especially women who have had some rough relationships through the years. I for one have had my fair share of awful relationships; habitual cheaters, liars, stalkers, controlling men, men who were ok with mediocracy … you name it. Looking back it makes me wonder, what did I see in them or how did I even get myself in that relationship. Pastor Mike talks about the importance of embracing the season that you are in. So if you are single embrace your “single hood”. Looking back that’s clearly where I failed miserably. I jumped from one relationship to the next, sometimes before the original relationship was even over. I went through this vicious cycle year after year and never understood why they always seemed to fall apart in the end. Eventually things started to shift for me. I realized it was the moment I started attending church again. I started focusing more time of improving my self- I was really walking in my truths …for the most part. The desires that I once had began to change, which caused a transformation in me that I had not seen before. The people I entertained were different and my energy was different.
Pastor Mike used the book to discuss the phases of relationships: single, dating (breaking up), engagement and marriage. And as I prepare to enter the threshold of my next phase, I was encouraged to self reflect on the qualities that I deemed important for my “relationship goals”. My list included love, compassion, faithfulness, ability to lead and unwavering. I also spent the time reflecting on areas that I could improve in (submission, vulnerability and communicating). For women like me that are in leadership roles, submission may seem like a tough pill to swallow. But remember submission is just a word of ORDER and is designed to be reciprocated. Submission doesn’t mean that you are a doormat that just get walks over. It just means that you have established that your relationship to be designed as God outlined in the Bible. Ephesians 5:21 says “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”. Pastor Mike provides the simple equation: 1 + 1 + 1 = 1. Which translates into one whole man plus one whole woman plus God equals one full and whole relationship. It’s important to remember that in ANY relationship, it will only be as good as the individuals in it.
A message that reigned supreme throughout this book was “Progression not Perfection”. We as women spend so much of our time spinning our wheels trying to get everything perfect. What we don’t realize is that we lose valuable time that could be spent progressing forward. So to take that message further just remember, the best version of you does not mean that you’re perfect. It just means that you have grown and progressed. So much so that your desires have changed and you have been transformed.
So what are your relationship goals? Comment below! Let’s talk about it! Or if you are reading the book and you want someone to share some take-aways with; don’t hesitate to drop me a message. I can’t wait to hear from you! Until next time!